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By Kelly Purden
The answer is always a resounding YES. Going into a marriage without getting premarital counseling is like going into business without a proper business plan in mind. Did you know that your odds are only one in four if you decide to wing it as a married couple without going through counseling? It is a sad fact indeed that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. To avoid being part of this statistic, the best solution is to get premarital counseling.
What is premarital counseling? It is a psychological counseling given usually by a religious adviser that helps couples adapt real life skills and knowledge to prepare themselves and create awareness about future conflicts they may encounter as a married couple, and how to resolve them. This is to help damage-proof your relationship before entering into one of the biggest, most wonderful commitments in your life. The premarital counselor, who can either be a family therapist or a member of the clergy, assists the couple by providing them with activities that help develop skills that they will need to successfully navigate through their marriage. The counselor also helps identify what the problem areas or differences are between the couples which may later cause conflict, and help them resolve them earlier.
The areas usually given importance to in premarital counseling are the couple’s interests and activities, self expectations and expectations of each other, expectations from the marriage, communication with each other, religion, family issues, children, finance, and intimacy and sexuality.
When is the best time for a couple to seek premarital counseling? According to studies, the best times are when you are of a much younger age or have never been married, or if one of you has a fear of commitment, when one or both of you has had a previously failed marriage and you want to avoid those mistakes made, or when a couple cannot resolve some significant issues. In some cases, when one of the couple has had a history of child abuse or domestic violence, this is an important case to get counseling as well. According to studies, this has been correlated with higher divorce rates. In this case, make sure that the premarital counselor you go to is skilled enough to address these issues.
Aside from premarital counseling, it is best to educate yourself in general. The Internet is very, very useful in providing you with the proper general knowledge about this. You can also visit your bookstore or library to get all the information you need on marriage and on relationships. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for this new transition in your life.
Getting married and starting a new family together may be just two of the greatest achievements and opportunities you will ever encounter in your life. When going into business, we strive to make it as fool-proof as possible, right? It is the same in marriage. To “damage-proof” your marriage may just be one of the best decisions you will ever make in your life.
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